Own The Issue
There are times when I have no one to blame for a mistake I made. I think that one of my first “go to” reactions is to look for someone to blame for something I did or did not do. It’s a lot cleaner and clearer to own the issue and deal with it rather than look for a scapegoat. The blame game is one of the oldest games that we play inside relationships – it’s also foolish and harmful.
David and his men obviously had some sort of unspoken agreement with this wealthy man Nabal. Nabal was evidently quite ruthless and rude and did not adhere to his end of the deal. David was about to avenge this ruthless behavior when Nabal’s wife Abigal put together a care package to deliver to David and his men. She apologized on behalf of her ruthless husband and she owned the issue even thoug she wasn’t technically to blame. Check this out…
28 ‘Please forgive your servant’s presumption. The Lord your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my lord, because you fight the Lord’s battles, and no wrongdoing will be found in you as long as you live. 29 Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my lord will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the Lord your God, but the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. 30 When the Lord has fulfilled for my lord every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him ruler over Israel, 31 my lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the Lord your God has brought my lord success, remember your servant.’ (1 Samuel 25:28-31 NIV)
I was impressed with the diplomacy of quick thinking of Abigal. She saved the day with her action. When she told her husband what she had done, his heart turned to stone and he died within 10 days or so. David was about to avenge Nabal’s misbehavior, but the Lord took care of it for him.
I think that there is a time and place for diplomacy and kind words accompanied by actions. There is always a solution if we dig deep enough and diligently work hard enough. We don’t always have to go to our final option whether it be a law suit or war. I do think that things calm down considerably when everyone will own their own issue in the confrontation. There is always enough blame to be spread around, but that really just enflames the situation.
I’m thankful that the Lord loves me and lives in me despite my stupid, ungodly behavior. His Grace looks past all my issues and cleans up my heart. He makes clear to me my issues that need to be owned and then dumped at His feet. His Word is extremely diplomatic and full of insightful counsel. It can help me own all of my issues before giving them over to Him.
Pressing On!
Dwayne