My First Big Kill
My son Luke and I were talking about deer hunting recently. I recalled my first big deer hunting experience and killing my first buck. I was in a deer stand about 30’ in the air. It wasn’t easy getting there. I had my certain areas where I was watching for deer. I had hunted the morning – grabbed some lunch and was headed back into the wood early afternoon. Here he comes, a young 4-point buck, and I shoot him in the neck. He goes down, but I can hear him squirming in the small ditch just out of site. I start climbing down from the tree and I’m now shaking all over. I’m not sure if it was excitement of my first kill or feeling a bit like a bad person killing a big animal. I’d killed small animals before and not though much about it because they were a nuisance. This felt different. As I approached the animal, he was indeed still alive and I couldn’t stand to see him suffer so I shot him once more and he was dead. I was hunting to put food in the freezer, but there was definitely a “sporting effect” part of it too. I remember that I was a bit humbled and scared by my ability to kill such an animal. I did get over the emotions of that day and we ate the venison for a while. I later killed one more before retiring from hunting.
I can hardly imagine taking an animal with me to the temple to have the animal killed to make up for my sin. I would think this sacrifice would be so very real. The instructions were clear, that an animal must die to atone for my sin. Check this out…
1 The Lord called to Moses and spoke to him from the tent of meeting. He said, 2 “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘When anyone among you brings an offering to the Lord, bring as your offering an animal from either the herd or the flock.
3 “‘If the offering is a burnt offering from the herd, you are to offer a male without defect. You must present it at the entrance to the tent of meeting so that it will be acceptable to the Lord. 4 You are to lay your hand on the head of the burnt offering, and it will be accepted on your behalf to make atonement for you. 5 You are to slaughter the young bull before the Lord, and then Aaron’s sons the priests shall bring the blood and splash it against the sides of the altar at the entrance to the tent of meeting. 6 You are to skin the burnt offering and cut it into pieces. 7 The sons of Aaron the priest are to put fire on the altar and arrange wood on the fire. 8 Then Aaron’s sons the priests shall arrange the pieces, including the head and the fat, on the wood that is burning on the altar. 9 You are to wash the internal organs and the legs with water, and the priest is to burn all of it on the altar. It is a burnt offering, a food offering, an aroma pleasing to the Lord. (Leviticus 1:1-9 NIV)
I believe the experience of seeing an innocent animal die for something I had done would really move my heart to repentance and surrender. I can hardly imagine doing something like that. I’m so thankful that God made a way through Jesus so that I wouldn’t have to sacrifice an animal for my sin – Jesus became the final sacrifice for sin ever needed. He came into this world as a baby and lived a perfect life and then became the perfect sacrifice for sin once and for all. I am blown away by His mercy and grace. I still sin and I sometimes cheapen that sacrifice with my irresponsible behavior. It doesn’t change the value of His sacrifice when I sin. I believe if I were keenly aware of how my sin hurt the Fathers heart, I would choose differently. I really think the Lord wants my heart to surrender. I know He wants me to give up my sin and my past to follow after Him. He wants my life to change from the inside out. He doesn’t want me to be good just during deer season or another season of my life. He wants my heart totally devoted to Him. I believe all my choices and decisions really come from deep in my heart – that’s were He does His best work. The first big kill inside my heart is my pride – there is not room in my heart for the Lord to dwell alongside my pride.
Pressing On!
Dwayne