Despair
There have been moments and even days of despair during certain seasons of my life. I can think of three particular seasons right off the bat – Loss of Job, Divorce & Cancer. I could probably write a book about my journey through these seasons of life. I’m not sure that I could very eloquent with my words because I was very fearful and weak. Despair in its simplest form is hopelessness. A world without hope is a world full of despair.
As I read the first of Job’s responses, I could sense the despair and desperation of this man. He wanted his life to be over as the struggle he’s in is huge and he doesn’t feel like he can manage it much longer. Check this out…
8 ‘Oh, that I might have my request,
that God would grant what I hope for,
9 that God would be willing to crush me,
to let loose his hand and cut off my life!
10 Then I would still have this consolation –
my joy in unrelenting pain –
that I had not denied the words of the Holy One.
11 ‘What strength do I have, that I should still hope?
What prospects, that I should be patient?
12 Do I have the strength of stone?
Is my flesh bronze?
13 Do I have any power to help myself,
now that success has been driven from me? (Job 6:8-13 NIV)
As I read this passage this morning, I was reminded of a song that really ministered to me during the despair of the cancer struggle with my son (which he won!).
Let Me Feel You Shine by Crowder
This place is trying to break my belief
But my faith is bigger than all I can see
What I need is redemption
What I need is for You for to put me back on my feet
I swear I’m trying to give everything
But I feel I’m falling, oh make me believe
What I need is resurrection
What I need is for You to put me back on my feet
If I could feel You shine Your perpetual light
Then maybe I could crawl out of this tonight
If I could feel You feel You shine
Oh let me feel You shine
So beautiful and warm
So beautiful and bright
Like a sun comin’ out of a rainy sky
Oh let me feel You shine Oh,
Let me feel You shine
I lift the knife to the thing I love most
Praying You’ll come so I can have both
What I need is for You to touch me
What I need is for You to be the thing that I need
If I could feel You shine your perpetual light
Then maybe I could crawl out of this tonight
If I could feel You feel You shine
Oh let me feel You shine
So beautiful and warm
So beautiful and bright
Like a sun comin’ out of a rainy sky
Oh let me feel You shine
God I need a Savior
O come Generous King
O God I need a Savior
To come rescue me
Oh let me feel You shine Your magnificent light
Then maybe I could crawl out of this tonight
If You let me feel You feel You shine
Oh let me feel You shine
So beautiful and warm
So beautiful and bright
Like a sun comin’ out of a rainy sky
Oh let me feel You shine
When the Lord comes on the scene or into the room – Hope has arrived. His Presence can push despair out the front door. I can still remember how it felt to have Him shining His Light into my hurting, desperate heart. #gamechanger
Pressing On!
Dwayne