Blog by Kristen Hicks
Today seems to have already started out a little weird. Heavy maybe? It’s not even lunch time and I already feel like I need to just take like a couple hours to just sit with the Holy Spirit and talk out all the things that are pressing on me. Things for my friends, my family, things that I feel happening in the Spirit, things in myself; just ALL the things.
I have this quote on one of my cork boards. (Yes, I have more than one. HA!) It keeps grabbing my attention. It says this:
“Retire from the world each day to some private spot… Stay in the secret place till the surrounding noises begin to fade out of your heart, and a sense of God’s Presence envelops you… Listen for the inward voice till you learn to recognize it… Give yourself to God and then be what and who you are without regard to what others think… Learn to pray inwardly every moment.” -A.W. Tozer
I feel like out of all the things on my cork boards, this is the one I read the most— the one I constantly need to be reminded of. I am learning that there is no formula to a relationship with God. I feel like that is kinda a “duh” thing to most people, but honestly, I didn’t actually realize I believed it was true to begin with.
You know, we learn as infants to watch others. We learn to copy them, mimic them, do exactly what they do. We grow up with the same habits, with the same beliefs, and the execution of those are the same as well. Then we teach our own, the same as we were taught.
There is something beautiful to this, when it’s done right. The way people mold people, the way the Lord created a man and his wife to have children and then teach them, grow them, inspire them. But we all know the downfall in this all too well. We are all human. We all have things within us that are, for lack of better words, evil. Even the best of the best, fall short.
So there is also something equally, if not even more beautiful when someone breaks the circle, destroys the mold and asks a different question… “Why?”
You’ve all met that kid before. You know, the one who annoys the heck out of everyone in asking this question—Over and over and over, about every little bitty thing. Some try to laugh it off, some get angry, some ignore, but dare I say “Why?”
Why are we so afraid, annoyed, and uncomfortable with this question? We don’t mind asking it when tragedy happens, disaster strikes, or even when things just aren’t going our way. It only gets us twisty when it threatens our foundation, our root system, the things we’ve always believed to be true, the things we were taught by people that we respect and trust the most.
I have found myself asking this question a whole lot lately. I am finding that although it is scary, although at times it is annoying and super uncomfortable, it has a whole lot of power to it. It leads to layers, upon layers until you finally get to the core, the Truth. The Truth as in Jesus—who He is and who you are in Him. Asking this question gets you through a whole lot of religious mumbo jumbo that a lot of people have built their faith on.
Who you ask this question to, however, is extremely important. And whether or not you realize it, you are asking this question a lot more often and to a lot more people than you think. The problem with this, is that in asking such a powerful question to human people, yields to only getting an answer filtered through the eyes of another, and so the process continues, and most of the time, the Truth is once again lost within the mix.
Now please don’t mishear me, I am not saying that it is wrong to talk things out with people— O my goodness, I’m not saying that. Community is vital. God created family, remember, that was His original intention, which means it’s still His intention. He created us to need each other, to do life together, to be one in and through Him.
Ding, ding, ding… guys I think we hit on something here. This is one of those moments when the Sunday school answer is exactly the right answer. Jesus. The only person we need to be asking our “why” questions to is the Almighty God Himself, whose only filter is in and through Jesus, wrapped up and surrounded by Holy Spirt. His heart is the answer, it’s the core of who He is. And yes, it is ok to be asking these questions with someone else, as long as, you both are yielded and dependent upon the answer coming from Abba.
My favorite part about that quote is the first line, because I believe it holds a secret. The secret? “Each day.” Finding Truth isn’t something that is easily attained. The Lord loves process, because just like parents enjoy the process of teaching their kids to mimic themselves, so does Abba. I believe there is a joy in it for Him that is unlike anything else. He wants to be present with us in and throughout each and every little bit of our day. He wants to know what we are thinking, what we are feeling, what we are dreaming about. He wants to give us the answers, oh but only if we would just ask Him.
Jesus literally gave His life so we would ask Him the question “WHY?”
Think about that for a minute. And if you’ve never asked Him this question, I think now would be a really good time to do so.
I am coming to understand and be ok with the fact that I don’t have all the answers. No one does. No one is right in all their beliefs. No one really knows God. That thought gives me joy for some strange reason. Like the kind of joy with a goofy grin and sneaky laugh, because this is actually an awesome thought. It takes all the pressure off. Praise God, He doesn’t fit into anyone’s mold. Praise God, He is bigger and better and His goodness goes waaayyyy beyond my human imagination and understanding Just PRAISE GOD!!!!
I am thankful that He is bringing me to this place. The place of being present in His process with Him, and learning to enjoy it along the way. Searching for His heart, rather than figuring out His ways. It’s just better this way. This is how He intended it. Trusting, depending and learning Him. Asking Him all my questions, even if He doesn’t give me all the answers. Every day, I’ll find my spot, I’ll stay there until He speaks, I’ll listen to His voice, give myself fully to Him and learn His heart.