May We Never Lose Our Wonder

Blog by Kristen Hicks

Every year, without fail, I come to this place with the Christmas season… I’m ready for it to be over. There are certain aspects of it I truly love and I am beyond grateful for. For example, I love getting to spend quality time with family; playing games, reminiscing about years past, watching movies, drinking hot chocolate and eating all the food. But there is one thing I always seem to really miss, my time with Jesus.

I miss Him. Which is sad considering that this season is supposed to be about Him. I’ve been thinking about it a ton this year. There is a word that continuously has been brought to my attention.

Wonder. “n. A feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable. v. Desire or be curious to know something. Feel admiration and amazement; marvel.”

The wonder of Christmas has been lost… at least for me. Christmas has become more about family, events, people pleasing and money (or lack thereof). Jesus is spoken of, but only out of tradition.

I asked the Lord this year to give me a fresh revelation on Christmas. He started to several days ago, but once again, the hustle and bustle of this season got in the way and I didn’t allow myself the time with Him, to actually sit and receive it. Not until now. Not until this moment.

There was a part of me that almost decided to push it to the side for next year. After all, Christmas is over, right? Why do I need a fresh revelation now? What’s the point?

The revelation the Lord began to give me was simple and a little comical… “The Barn.”

Why is that funny? Because for me in this season, I live in a barn. And for months now, the Lord has been telling me to “embrace the barn.” Which also, for months, I have been trying to find ways around actually doing that. Anyone else ever been there?

UGGGGGH….. yes, this how I really feel about it. I feel like when I first moved in, I had more of the heart that Mary did when she first was told by the angel that she was going to have Jesus. “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.” My response was more like, “YES, Lord, I trust you!! I love adventures!!! Let’s do this!!!”  Clearly, my “yes,” was filled with quite a bit more “oomph” then. But as time has continued on, it has gotten harder and harder. The harder it’s gotten, the more I’ve asked the Lord why He did it this way. What could I possibly learn living like this?

I wonder about Mary. I feel like the way the Word is written, it doesn’t really elaborate on any of her feelings. But I imagine, telling everyone your pregnant by the Holy Spirit, was not an easy thing to walk through. I imagine she felt her “yes” weaken. Even though she still believed God, even though she still saw the signs of His Presence and she was still willing, that had to have been tough.

I heard someone say in a teaching one time, they imagined that’s why Mary went and visited Elizabeth. She surrounded herself with promise. Meaning, she surrounded herself with people, who were also, having to believe and trust God, people who were also, having to walk out something hard.

Then Mary sang. She sang out what God had said to her. She prophesied His promise to herself. And she sang it out with joy and praise. And I’m guessing, she did this until her whole being was aligned with it.

Sometimes we have to sing until we get there.

Then we all know what happened next. Mary and Joseph went to Bethlehem, and there was no place for them to stay, so they had to stay in a stable (aka barn). Once again, could you imagine being Mary? Pregnant and having to spend the night in a barn with a bunch of smelly animals. Then, oh wait, it gets better, she goes into labor. Wait, what? I would have quite a hard time telling myself in that moment, that God’s timing is perfect.

But isn’t it? Timing. His timing is everything. We can kick and squirm and try to make things happen, but when He has your “yes,” you don’t really get much of a say in timing. Even Jesus didn’t. His timing is best described in this way I think.; a woman in labor, you can’t choose it, make it go faster, or stop it.

I’ve heard it preached so many times that God chose the barn, as a place of humility. This is most definitely true, but I still feel like there is more to it. I feel like one reason, was because it was the exact opposite of what all the religious people thought. Jesus was hidden and only found by those humble enough and brave enough to really seek after Him.

I don’t think I have the full revelation yet. I think that I will though, the more I walk it out, the more I sing it out and the more I align myself in obedience to what God has already said. This is what do I know, however, I’m giving birth in this barn! 🙂 God is birthing something in me. This season is painful, messy, uncomfortable, and completely annoying, just being honest. But from what I hear, the most beautiful thing about having a baby is that once you lay eyes on Him, you forget about all of that other stuff. I am holding on to that. I feel like with whatever is being birthed, with it will be pure, untainted “wonder.” And I have a feeling that the revelation of this wonder means that Christmas isn’t over yet. 🙂

“May we never lose our wonder.”

-Amanda Cook