Blog by Kristen Hicks
I have struggled with this. I have been all about sharing the stories behind these songs until now when it’s actually time to sit down and start writing them. Mostly, because they are tender. They require me to be vulnerable— to take off any mask that I might be wearing to protect my heart or my reputation. At first, I thought I might tell the stories at arm’s length. Telling only the logistics of the moment the song was actually written, no background, no reasoning, no emotion, no heart; but tonight, I am realizing that that isn’t what the Lord is asking of me. Let me be clear, He isn’t making me do this. He isn’t twisting my arm, holding a gun to my head— He is simply asking, “Kristen, will you tell them our story? Tell them about Me, and who I have shown you I Am.”
That is where this song story begins. This is the newest written song on the album. Some of you might be wondering, why I decided to start the album and my story from the end rather than the beginning. Well, as the Lord reminds me often, I tend to do things backwards. And when He first revealed this to me, I was smack dab in the middle of the story behind this song. A crossroads. On the verge of the Lord about to do the craziest, most random, out there thing He has ever done in my life. Pursue me.
Wait, what? Yea, you read that right. And yes, I also believe that He has always been in pursuit of me—of all of us, in fact. But this pursuit has been different. Actually, some of the romantic dreamers out there would probably even use the word “woo” instead of pursuit. It hasn’t been a pursuit of my soul, He’s already got me there, but rather it’s a wooing of my heart. He’s been after my love. I never knew even until now, that He wanted it so desperately. I knew I wanted Him to have it, but I just didn’t know He desired it the way He does. I didn’t know, He valued it— that my love for Him was so incredibly precious to Him.
I had heard it my whole life, “Jesus loves you” but it had become silent, lost its wonder, sounding more and more like a copout rather than something that was supposed to actually change me—something that was supposed to define me.
There is this verse in Zephaniah 3 that says “For the Lord, your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” (v.17) This was the verse He used to begin His quest for my heart. As if giving His life wasn’t enough. This was when I began to realize He wasn’t just looking to save me. He was looking to be with me— to be present, to be one with me, complete me, fight for me, comfort me, heal me, protect me, to make me smile and laugh… to love me—like really, really love me. This was when I realized He created me to be loved.
I was in my room one day, sitting with Him. Bringing Him all my stuff— my insecurities, yes, all those thoughts, all the imperfections, all my shame, my fears. I began to think about Zephaniah 3:17 and wondered what it would be like to hear Him singing over me, and what His lyrics would be. I then began to hear this sweet melody in my head. It was a love letter but in song form. It was an invitation. What came out of that moment was this song.
“Dear one, I’m longing for you to come and rest here in My arms, so I can breathe new life into your lungs. My love can never be won, so let go of all the things you’ve done, and let Me show you how to be one.
Lay down all your insecurities, because the possibilities are endless. And let Me love you out of where you’re at, no I really won’t hold back if you’ll yield to Me.
Cause you are Mine and I Am yours, forevermore, forevermore. You are Mine and I Am yours, forevermore, forevermore.
Sometimes, it’s hard to see outside the lines of your humanity, so sometimes you’ll just have to trust me. And when it seems like nothing makes sense, and the enemy is lurking in your midst, oh let Me be your greatest defense.
I won’t stop singing, I won’t sing over you I won’t stop chasing, I won’t stop chasing after you. I’m in deep pursuit of you. I won’t stop calling, I won’t stop calling out to you. I won’t stop singing, I won’t stop singing over you.”
I’m realizing that part of the beauty behind the songs He sings over us, is that they aren’t just meant to be received. He wants us to join in—belting out the sacred declaration of what He is singing, rather than the lies we are believing. I have found myself, with this particular song, realizing that while I sing the chorus, proclaiming on behalf of Jesus as Husband “you are MINE and I AM yours, forevermore!” that I can sing it back to Him as His Bride, “YOU are mine and I am YOURS, forevermore!” in unison, at the same time, as One, the way He always intended for it to be. And suddenly, all of those insecurities become possibilities to be loved by Him and to love Him in return.
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